I didn't have a whole lot else to write about tonight so I thought I'd have a little fun with a random story idea. Not sure where, if anywhere, I'm going to take it from here. Enjoy! -
The stands are reverberating with the noise of stomping feet and ruckus applause. The noise is coating the gymnasium in a blanket sound. The score is tied 58-58 with only 32 seconds left in the quarter final basketball game between the Orion High Warriors and Albany Tigers.
These schools have a long and sorted history with each other. It was well known that five years ago, students from Albany snuck onto Orion's football field, drew the male phallic symbol across the length of the field in gasoline, and set it ablaze. Of course the pictures from the incident went viral, and to this day whenever the teams play each other Albany students will all synch up their profile pictures, making their friends feed look like a virtual constellation of flaming penises.
Not to be to be outdone, a group of Orion High students pulled of a prank that will live in high school infamy. This happened two years ago, when Albany had their prom on board an old riverboat. A couple of Orion students got jobs on the boat, and when it came time to staff up to serve the prom dinner, they were able to recruit the help of a couple other like-minded individuals from surrounding schools.
On the big night, while Albany students were dancing to the sweet tones of K-Ci and JoJo, there arose a foul stench from every corner of the dance floor. At first no one thought much of it, perhaps someone had passed gas, but the smell quickly become more-and-more nauseous. Girls started screaming, they held their prom dresses up off the ground as they ran off the dance floor, seeking refuge above deck.. The newspaper report said one of the chaperones, a 26 year old English teacher who was six months pregnant with twins, fainted and had to be taken to a hospital. She was fine, but to this day refuses to help out with any extracurriculars. Soon the entire boat smelled to high heaven, and the captain had to bring the ship back into port. Prom was ruined, the Warriors had stuck back.
The Orion students were never charged with any wrong doing because nobody could prove that they had planted the stink bombs. The authorities tracked the group of students in question online. They tracked the kids' Facebook profiles for months, but the crafty high schoolers never slipped up. I mean, who brags about such things on Facebook anyway? That's what Twitter is for. It's said that they had to bring a team of cleaners in to: steam the carpets, repaint the walls, and burn all of the table cloths of the SS, Blue Moon. And yet still the smell lingers. An aromatic testament to what a few motivated teenagers are capable of.
This year tensions between the two schools have come to a head. When the two teams faced off at Albany's homecoming football game, seven players had to be carted off the field. There were thirteen flags thrown for unnecessary roughness. When Rob Jordan scored a touchdown to put the Warriors ahead with less than two minutes to play, he was pelted with ice and popcorn from Albany's student section. This lead to Orion High's varsity football coach, Pat Miller calling the Albany students, "a bunch of no good, white trash children, whose futures are sure to be filled with factory jobs and welfare lines" on the 10 O'clock news. Miller was fired a week later, but the school board is reconsidering due to a Re-hire Pat Miller Facebook group that has more than 3,000 members, including one State Senator who is more than gracious with his donations to the school's alumni fund.
Tonight, in a show of singularity between the schools, both teams cheerleading squads have gotten together to preform a halftime dance routine. It was a sweet moment- that was rudely interrupted when a chant erupted from the Albany student section. If you were listening closely, you could just make out the chant, "Kevin tapped it!" over a medley of No Doubt, Backstreet Boys and N'Sync numbers. The chant was in reference to Tigers, All-State Forward, Kevin Roberts relationship to Orion High's cheerleading captain, Ashley Price - who is a National Honor society member, two time Homecoming Queen, and the envy of all high school boys in the tristate area. When Ashley became aware of the chant her face turned an atomic shade of red, she walked off the gym floor mid performance, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her dad ran down the bleachers to console her, and they walked out of the gymnasium hand in hand.
Now here we are, 32 seconds left in this, the most important of high school basketball regional quarter-final games. Everyone feels like they have some skin in the game. There are four generations of alumni who have braved the gail force winds and near white out conditions to root for their team. Proud parents of the players are all wearing matching sweaters bearing the name and number of their little prides and joys. The pep bands for both teams have been on point all night long, each time out feels like a battle of the bands. There was much status updating and hash-tagging taking place.
#ThisGame #GoWarriors #GetMauled
Even the local burnouts have decided to watch, which explains why the girls axillary locker room smells strongly of hydroponic pot, and the Jefferson High School concession stand has reported record profits. Sales of chocolate covered pretzels have never been higher.